Can you tell me what Empathy is?

How often have we responded to others in distress and tried to make things better? Too many times right. Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities

The first step to being more supportive is understanding the differences between   empathy and sympathy.  Empathy is feeling “with ” people and sometimes creating a connection with people may be more powerful than of trying to find solutions. It is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Take a look at this video clip  which explains the differences beautifully.

Learning to make the world a better place, one moment at a time :)

Please share your thoughts.

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What a Gentleman Wants in a relationship

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What’s sexier than a man who knows what he wants and how to get it?

Allow me to share an obsession of mine: gentlemen.

The short list includes manners, confidence in their place in the scheme of things, kindness, strength of character.

When I was younger, I had quite the dour outlook on the world of men.

I loved them, don’t get me wrong—indeed, needed them—but had limited expectations of what men were capable of.
I wondered how much of women’s low opinion of men affected how men viewed and presented themselves.

Were our expectations driving what kind of men we would attract?

Were we indeed ready for a gentleman, or were we also a work in progress and unable to connect with that guy even if he were standing right in front of us?

Women tend to evolve more quickly than men because they are connected to Source in a more intimate way, through the process of pregnancy and birthing. Because of the womb, which is the cauldron of all creation, women are innately intuitive, and that intuitiveness gives them insights that men are not privy to.

My partner went on to say that men have always been afraid of women’s magic and this is why they have kept them underfoot. Unfortunately, this fear became part of religious dogma, and as such is difficult to erase from the human condition.

Still, I like to imagine that, as a species, both men and women are capable of great things, including the thing of cultivating better love relationships.

We have our differences, to be sure. For one, men view financial stability with the same perspective that women view long term relationships, which explains why the two seem to be in separate corners of a never ending wrestling match. But as a team, imagine what can be accomplished if we allow the other to be good at what they’re good at, instead of letting it become a dividing factor.

It’s all about co-operation, and both partners must be doing the co-operating. Women tend to give more than their fair share and then complain that they’re being taken advantage of. I say, expect more, allow more to flow into your experience.

Back to my obsession.

Gentlemen, in my opinion are deep, sensual, intelligent beings who are inspired by women who offer them these four things:

Emotional Intimacy (love squared)

Sex (you know the kind)

Intelligence (they really do want to have those conversations)

Respect (treat them as you would be treated yourself)

Emotional Intimacy

What do I mean by love squared? Is love not enough?

Not really. Love, the emotion, is the base ingredient. It is a feeling. Feelings are unstable. Add some substance to that and you’ll find emotional intimacy.

A deep intimacy is based on the desire to offer another human the most sacred part of yourself. That sacred part is honest, forthcoming, your wild side, your vulnerable side, the One that resides within the inner sanctum of your soul.

When that part of you is exposed and given freely you have emotional intimacy. This takes courage.

A gentleman will recognize your gift and cherish it. Gentlemen require this kind of sharing, they crave it and more than this, they will offer it back.

Honor them with the best part of yourself.

Sex Without Borders

A man who understands himself and his needs is not shy to ask for what he wants. If a man is going to share his intensity with you, he wants intensity in return. Men need sex. If they want to simply have a discussion over dinner every night they can do that with their sister.

You, on the other hand, are what he wants to capture and devour. Play that game with him and you won’t be disappointed.

Sex with a confident, well mannered, intelligent man is like no other.

Gentlemen know how to take their time before they go in for the kill. I suggest you do so as well.

Learn the landscape of your man’s body and offer him things that will show him you are truly interested. Intimacy and spiritual bonds are deepened when a man sees that you are in it for him as well.

Whatever you do to him, do it with passion.

Make sweet love to him when he needs it, but you know that the rest of the time he’s going to want to f*ck. He’s going to want you down and dirty and breathless.

There’s no point in denying that he’s the predator and you’re his prey. He may have manners suitable for a boardroom, but his desires dictate something less polite. This does not make him an animal, this makes him real. Love him as he is.

Intelligence

A smart man is an interesting man. The same goes for women. I despise that old stereotype of men being interested in vapid, over-done sex-bombs with nothing to say except to hang on a man’s every word.

Believe it or not, we are not entirely done with this scenario. Some men do prefer that type, and all to their detriment because nobody is evolving within those confines.

Gentlemen, on the other hand, adore women with wisdom and a voice to share.

Give him what he wants. Delight him with conversation, your inspired ideas, share books; keep him guessing about what stirs your mind.

I can assure you that an intelligent woman is sexy as hell. He thinks so and will find innumerable ways to show you that he does.

Don’t be afraid that he will feel intimidated by your brainy prowess. If we keep thinking that way, we’ll never progress as equals.

While it’s fun to play a game in the bedroom of “who’s on top,” men who truly value women will get bored if you keep your smarts under wraps. So get brain naked! Show him all you’ve got.

Respect

Part of being a gentleman is being respectful. Respectful with words and actions that is. Men who truly understand this still…

Open doors

Listen to you wholeheartedly

Speak well of you in or out of your company

Are sincere

Voice their opinion but refrain from being rude and crude to their lady love (I swear I am not an addict of Jane Austen or Mr. D’Arcy.)

Take your needs and wants into consideration while considering theirs.

Honor your desire to be the best you can be and support your dreams.

So this is easy peasy. You do it too. And send him some flowers while you’re at it.

Respect is important to a man. That’s just the way it is. While I agree that respect is earned, I also believe that men who are disrespected are not inspired towards intimacy. The two breed each other. So why not reap the rewards of that pairing?

We’re in this together. Let’s have fun and enjoy the best of what we have to offer.

Source: Monika Carless
http://www.elephantjournal.com

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Some of the Most dangerous airports in the world.

View some of the most interesting and amazing Airports in the World right here. This video clip shows off some of the most incredible crosswind landings collection.

It is quite scary and fascinating at the same time. I think these pilots require skill and a sprinkle Gods guidance.

Lukla airport it actually the most dangerous due to the surrounding mountains and the short runway.Saba Airport in the Caribbean.
You do have the shortest commercial flight and the only airport that uses beach runways However Catalina island in California is not on this list.

Enjoy :)

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Slow Dance

They say an old dog never learns new tricks, but I have learnt many harsh lessons to know that new tricks are necessary to survive and to grow.

I am always trying to be better and believe me It takes a lot if practice. Messages I read serve as a constant reminder of how I can learn to make amends and direct my life. Just this week I made a conscious decision to slow down and enjoy the dance.

I had to share this beautiful piece with you and I hope it inspires some other person who reads it.

Take what you need and heres to a happier you and I :)

Slow Dance:
Have you ever watched kids, On a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain, Slapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down. Don’t dance too fast. Time is short.
The music won’t last. Do you run through each day, On the fly? When you ask: How are you? Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed, With the next hundred chores, Running through your head? You’d better slow down, Don’t dance too fast.
Time is short, The music won’t last. Ever told your child we’ll do it tomorrow? And in your haste, Not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die, Cause you never had time, To call and say Hi? You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast. Time is short.
The music won’t last. When you run so fast to get somewhere, You miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift thrown away. Life is not a race.
Do take it slower. Hear the music, Before the song is over.

Written by : Timothy Ferriss

Live well, Inspire, learn & grow.
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50 Life-Impacting Books Recommended By 50 Global Entrepreneurs

Originally posted on TIME:

From 2011 to 2013, I read 197 books, and I became more cultured, intelligent, informed and dare I say better looking. Books have the power to change lives. ( I feel like somebody needs to queue theReading Rainbow theme song. “Take a look, it’s in a book, Reading Rainbow!”)

I’m pro entrepreneur in all I do. Let’s consider me the self-proclaimed “People’s Entrepreneur.” My mission is to help other entrepreneurs realize their dreams and maximize their potential.

It’s the reason I created a Facebook group for a bunch of entrepreneurs to connect, share their wisdom, stories and ask questions. We have almost 4,000 entrepreneurs from about 20 countries. We all ask questions daily and learn from each other and get better at being entrepreneurs.

One of the recent questions was, “Name one book that has had the greatest impact on your life.” This list contains 50 different books…

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Music : Nothing Really Matters

Music that moves me must be shared :)

A beautiful music video by Mr. Probz – Nothing Really Matters (Afrojack Remix)

Enjoy it friends!

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Life advice from the treasure trove

As I journey through life, these wonderful pieces of writing seem to capture my attention. It somehow resonates with me when I need it most.

As far back as 1958, Hunter S. Thompson who was 22 years old , wrote this letter to his friend Hume Logan in response to a request for life advice. His letter shares some of the most thoughtful and profound advice I have come across. “But if it’s true that our beliefs really do become our reality, then there’s no better example of a life fully realised than the one of Hunter S. Thompson. ” Let his perspective direct you:

April 22, 1958
57 Perry Street
New York City

Dear Hume,

You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal— to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.

I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles … ” (Shakespeare)

And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect— between the two things I’ve mentioned: the floating or the swimming.

But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he’s not after the “big rock candy mountain,” the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance?

The answer— and, in a sense, the tragedy of life— is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.

So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis?

The answer, then, must not deal with goals at all, or not with tangible goals, anyway. It would take reams of paper to develop this subject to fulfillment. God only knows how many books have been written on “the meaning of man” and that sort of thing, and god only knows how many people have pondered the subject. (I use the term “god only knows” purely as an expression.) There’s very little sense in my trying to give it up to you in the proverbial nutshell, because I’m the first to admit my absolute lack of qualifications for reducing the meaning of life to one or two paragraphs.

I’m going to steer clear of the word “existentialism,” but you might keep it in mind as a key of sorts. You might also try something called Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre, and another little thing called Existentialism: From Dostoyevsky to Sartre. These are merely suggestions. If you’re genuinely satisfied with what you are and what you’re doing, then give those books a wide berth. (Let sleeping dogs lie.) But back to the answer. As I said, to put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES.

But don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that we can’t BE firemen, bankers, or doctors— but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires— including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.

As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal), he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).

In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life— the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual.

Let’s assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let’s assume that you can’t see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN— and here is the essence of all I’ve said— you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.

Naturally, it isn’t as easy as it sounds. You’ve lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn’t any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.

So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, “I don’t know where to look; I don’t know what to look for.”

And there’s the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don’t know— is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.

If I don’t call this to a halt, I’m going to find myself writing a book. I hope it’s not as confusing as it looks at first glance. Keep in mind, of course, that this is MY WAY of looking at things. I happen to think that it’s pretty generally applicable, but you may not. Each of us has to create our own credo— this merely happens to be mine.

If any part of it doesn’t seem to make sense, by all means call it to my attention. I’m not trying to send you out “on the road” in search of Valhalla, but merely pointing out that it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it. There is more to it than that— no one HAS to do something he doesn’t want to do for the rest of his life. But then again, if that’s what you wind up doing, by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it. You’ll have lots of company.

And that’s it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,

your friend,
Hunter

I hope this inspires and motivates you in some way to live a meaningful and fulfilling life. This line says sums it up beautifully :
it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it”

Keep smiling :)

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To be or Not to be

‘To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to? ‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; aye, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:’  (Shakespear’s Hamlet, 1602 )

To be or not to be: the profound question even now. Life and death….Even Shakespeare knew better. The comparison between the pain of life, which he sees as inevitable (the sea of troubles – the slings and arrows – the heart-ache – the thousand natural shocks) and the fear of the uncertainty of death and of possible damnation of suicide.

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Pic: Life & death of a Dahlia , Meirion Matthias

Your thoughts?

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6 Proven Strategies to Great Relationships by DR Demartini

How to go beyond fantasy to find true relationship fulfilment. Your connections with others, although incredibly rich with potential, could be one of the most misunderstood areas of your life.

As a result, Dr Demartini would love to help you understand what really drives human behaviour in romance, business, and families; and show you how to have the kind of relationships you’ll love, whether they’re lasting or brief, intensely intimate, or just for fun.

“In my upcoming presentation, I’ll share with you the science of successful and fulfilling communication, the cornerstone of any quality relationship and give you the tools and strategies you will need to create powerful partnerships with people who can help you acknowledge, experience, and express more of your true and empowered self.” says Dr John Demartini

You’ll discover the truth about what relationships are and what they can become, as well as who you are and what you can do to experience fulfilment.
You can wake up to the fact that not only do you participate in creating your reality, but you also take part in forging your relationships. Neither “just happen” to you, for you’re the author of your existence.

“You may be mired in your ways and ideas about what makes a ‘good’ or ‘successful’ relationship.

Details Of this Public Talk,
6 Proven Strategies to Great Relationships:

Date: 01 Jul 2015
Venue: Cape Town Convention Centre
And
Date: 07 July 2015
Sandton Convention Centre, Johannesburg

Registration:18h30
Talk:19h00-21h15
Cost: R320 early bird ticket or R400 at the door
Info@drdemartini.co.za

**Win 2 double tickets**
I have one set of double tickets for Cape Town and one set of double tickets for Johannesburg to giveaway.

1.Simply tweet & share this post on Facebook
2. Comment below with your details.
3. Enter your email and Follow my blog to receive notification of winners.

Goodluck to you :)

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All Things Indian at Crowne Plaza Rosebank Hotel

           iiwn 1

ALL THINGS INDIAN
 In the Heart of the Melting Pot of Diverse Cultures – At the Crowne Plaza – The Rosebank Hotel
Come Experience   Our Events over 2 days –  You can opt for one or all as you are spoilt for choice:
(1) A Dinner Party with Profound Discussions, Dance, Entertainment, Fashion & Exotic Indian Cuisine Buffet
When 26 June 2015, Friday at 19h00 Dress Code Glamorous Evening Indian Wear Cost  R295,00 per person   Booking is Essential Email: reservations@therosebank.co.za Tel: (011)4483600
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(2) Mela  Dance; Music; Fashion Shows; Delightful Indian Cuisine; Exhibitions; Yoga; Astrology & Numerology Readings; Mendhi Artists
When 27 June 2015, Saturday 14h00 -19h00
Dress Code Glamorous Wear
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(3) Bollywood Fusion Dance Party  with International Leading DJ Zuby
When 27 June 2015, Saturday at 20h00
Dress Code Glamorous Bollywood 
Cost R150,00 per person
__________________________________________________
(4) Stay Over Make it a weekend stay over with special discounted rates  at Crowne Plaza -JHB – The Rosebank Hotel Cnr of Tyrwhitt & Sturdee Ave, Rosebank  Booking is Essential Email: reservations@therosebank.co.za Tel: (011)4483600 Ref: ALL THINGS INDIAN __________________________________________________   To ensure that we bring you a memorable and successful experience, please RSVP by 23 June 2015 to:  

Singh

 Cell: 0607463723  Email: accounts@iiwnf.co.za

Come join us celebrate our diverse culture in South Africa.  As artistic expression is a way for us to define and narrate our own stories, while weaving together our rich African and Indian heritages, this event will cover from a profound discussion on the value and significance of positive cultural production to a panel discussion that spotlights Indians in film and screen arts, to workshops that focus on visual art, to a concert, and ends on a high celebratory note of a dance party.

The aim is that beyond these events, this theme will carry on in discussions in smaller circles and personal conversations and serve as a medium to further push IIWNF guests to be visionaries and to lift our consciousness  so that we may grow as individuals and as a community.

A preview from the IIWNF media launch last night. Really spectacular and this is a peek at what to expect at this weekends events. Stunning Indian outfits from Shaadionline.co.za

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