“I need time” is one of those lines that go up the “It’s not you, it’s me” alley. It’s overused, confusing and when it’s all said and done, it will leave you asking “what the hell just happened to my relationship?” Contrary to what you may believe, both men and women use this line often and admittedly, I too have fallen victim.
The only way to get the answer is to talk to your partner about this. Easier said than done right? Because the moment they ask for time, that means the communication lines will be shut down. And asking them “what the time is for?” can just make the situation worse. Your partner can either feel like you’re pressuring them or you’re not respecting their decision.
To be frank, the only thing you can do right now is to wait or not to wait. But since you’re putting an effort thinking about what he or she meant by “needing time,” let’s go over the possibilities now.
1. I need time… and I need space.
Time and space are usually intertwined. So when your partner asks for time, he or she needs space as well. This can be space apart from you or space from the relationship itself.
You must understand that people in a relationship don’t always feel exactly the same way. You may still love the person very much but your partner doesn’t love you as much anymore. If he or she needs time and space, give them that. In fact, give them all the time and space they need and want! At the end of it all, if they don’t come back to you then they’re not worth it.
2. I need time… because I’ll eventually break up with you.
Probably one of the most common reasons why men and women utter this line is because they have plans of breaking up. “I need time” softens the blow compared to “We’re done.”
Although heartbreaking, there’s really nothing you can do if your partner wants out of the relationship. Instead of feeling miserable and bad for yourself, move on yourself. Come on! Your “ex” is a coward, he or she can’t even give enough value to your relationship to tell it straight to your face. They have to hide behind this line and wait for the day that you’ll actually be the one to let go. Not classy at all!
3. I need time…to really think.
Surely, you have approached close friends and asked for their opinions regarding this matter. And I’d bet that most of them will tell you that time means either #1 or #2. HOWEVER, there is always that possibility that your partner just needs time to think things through.
You can look at this situation as a good thing as you can take the time to think as well. Your partner is probably assessing if he or she still wants to pursue the relationship, how serious they are, their long-term plans, and so on. If this is the case, it’s beneficial for the both of you as you need not waste time anymore. Usually, this type of scenario is applicable to relationships that have lasted at least two years already.
The Silver Lining
Life takes unexpected turns. Relationships may not end up the way you wanted to. If your partner wants time, give it. You can try to understand why or just don’t. But what I want to tell you is that although there are very common reasons why men and women say this, there’s always that benefit of the doubt. And you can only feel this way if you truly believe that your relationship was or is truly valuable.
Take all this in stride and learn from the experience. As they say “every cloud has a silver lining.” Don’t forget to look at the brighter side of things, even though it’s difficult to do at first. Consider this time off as a way to focus on yourself more and know what you really want as well. So that IF you do get back together, you’ll both be better individuals who are willing and ready to take your relationship to the next level
Source : Azalea Pena, http://digitalromanceinc.com/author/azaleapena/